My parents went a bit overboard with Christmas which is not a trait I have taken up in the least, for me I would much rather share 1 or 2 gifts per person that have meaning and be done with it ….. however, even with that philosophy I too have been guilty of going overboard at the last minute out of that systemic drive society has to over indulge and succumbed to the guilt. As I get older this guilt means less and less to me and I find myself easily falling back into simplicity. Christmas for me now is not a favored holiday, in fact I find it rather difficult to endure, I am not sure if it is the longing for those days past where I was surrounded by family or if it is my still dealing with the sadness of having lost all but a couple blood relatives to share it with. Whatever the reason, its always met with a sense of dread and obligation to pretend that it is a happy season. Continue reading “Christmas”
Mom and dad moved to Rochester from our little town, of course after the wedding and as all young couples did at the time they struck out on their own and did so with little to no help from anyone else. It was a matter of pride to them that when they married they were to be fully independent and now the masters of their combined destiny.
That generally means years of struggling and building a life through those struggles and they did so with wit, fun and grace …. like the story dad would tell at times when he was in the mood for a funny story, which was often! Continue reading “The Gift”
So it starts, another morning of hollow functions leading into a day of shallow steps towards the end of the sun. I cannot actually remember feeling less alive than I do these days and that is a feat as I have spent the remembrance part of my life always at a place where the present was filled in its entirety with the ghost of the past. Constant second guessing and the desperate fear of making the same mistake in the present that I made in the past obscuring the every present moment I am in. Continue reading “Presence”